Candi

Everyone knows I am a bit of a TV junkie. I really listen to some shows on TV though, like really listen to what people are saying and sometimes I like to think about how certain things that are said or done might be a life lesson that I can learn something from. Now I realize that doesn’t hold true with some of my favorite shows like The Bachelor – that is just great mindless television that I can relax and have a good laugh while watching. Many shows though like Parenthood or even the great comedy Modern Family truly have some awesome real life issues that I can relate too.

Like the other night on Private Practice. I love how Addison has these little therapy sessions at the beginning and end and more often than not her thoughts are pretty accurate. This episode she said:

I was thinking how I keep waiting for life to get easier. You know, lower stakes, less risk, more reward— easier. And I was thinking that maybe… it doesn’t. I was thinking that maybe the struggle, the climb, the one obstacle after another— Maybe… that’s just life. And you’d think that that would be a depressing thought— that there’s no end to all of the— I don’t know, that it doesn’t get easier, that it just gets different. But it’s not. It’s the opposite of depressing. There’s a relief in it. Life is complex. There’s nothing simple or easy about it. So I can stop waiting for it to… I can stop waiting. And I can just… live.

Call me crazy, but I swear I keep having these AHA moments where I think that this must be what being in my 40’s is going to feel like. Grated I won’t be turning the Big 4-0 until September, so I must be mentally preparing myself. I know everyone’s life is different; we all go through the good and bad at different stages and ages. For me I feel like my 20’s were spent making lots of mistakes, learning what works, what I want for my future, and having as much fun as I could along the way. Most of the time I was putting my needs first and I never really worried about consequences of my actions either.

My 30’s have been full of goals, building a house, a business, having a family. Much of my time is spent nurturing and encouraging others and always putting everyone’s needs before my own. Trying out so many different things, figuring out who I really am other than a wife and a mother, and learning that friendships – real friendships are very precious and rare. Believing that my husband is my best friend and quite possibly the only person in the world who will always have my back.

I feel like my 40’s will bring more faith, more being true to myself, and a different kind of confidence. Not am outward confidence, but a confidence in how I am living my life. I’m no longer wondering what to do with my life; I am doing it. Priorities are changing and I see more of that to come. I no longer worry about things I can’t change or things that really aren’t important to myself or my family. As I quoted Addison above, I too felt like life would be easier by the time I was 40. I felt like all of the biggest hurdles and worries would be behind me and I would have all the difficult stuff figured out. Instead there is still so much I don’t know, so much I haven’t experienced and I am excited about all that is to come. I feel great about my life and the choices I have made so far. I really feel like my 40’s are going to be about LIVING. I’m also learning to surround myself with good people. People who make me want to be a better person. Just like Number One on this list I found awhile ago- Stop spending time with the wrong people. The list is “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself” The list is really great, this website has some great thoughts and tips for productive living. It should just say – how to live and not go insane!

Some may have no idea what I am talking about. Others may be thinking that they too felt different at this age as well. I feel sorta strange lately and I’m just trying to make sense of it all. Maybe it really will be the Fabulous Forties!

This week the diet hasn’t been going so well. Up until now I was having great success with keeping off the caffeine and avoiding eating anything after dinner. Then I had this little stressful situation occur over the weekend and stress equals eating even when I am not hungry. One thing I learned from watching numerous vlogs is to never give up when you have a bad day or a bad week. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will make better choices than today. I haven’t given into the caffeine and I don’t crave it anymore which is awesome.

This salad actually looks kind of gross, but it was pretty tasty. The other day I was so stressed I didn’t eat dinner with the kids and ended up eating at 9pm at night when I was finally relaxing for the day. Ugh!
Day Five – Dinner #febphotoaday

I’m pretty excited about Breaking Dawn coming out on Friday! The best part of buying the DVD is watching the commentary and additional footage. Who else is going to be picking up their copy this weekend?
Day Six – Button #febphotoaday

Day Seven – Sun #febphotoaday

I was a bit worried when today’s photo was to take a photo of the sun considering it’s the dreadful winter here in Michigan. But thankfully the sun was shining brightly and I caught a picture of it just as it was going down. The sun shining wasn’t the only thing I was thankful for today. I went to my gynecologist to get a suspicious lump in my breast checked out today (the stressful situation) and thankfully she is pretty positive that it is nothing abnormal. I will be getting a mammogram soon just to be sure, but I feel pretty confident in her assessment. Being a woman just stinks sometimes. With 1 out of 8 women being diagnosed with breast cancer it’s not something to mess around with – so girls- check your boobies!