Day 03 & 04 – Forgiveness

I’m not doing a very good job keeping up with my 30 Days of Truth meme. Oh well, it never said that you had to do them every day, right?! We’ve been busy trying to get some things done around the house while the weather is still nice. Yard work, outdoor house repairs, stuff like that. Luckily we have a friend who is looking for a new job that is available for some side work and he has been helping a couple of days a week for some extra cash. I am most excited about getting our new front door ordered. We ordered a really nice front door and new sidelight. The door won’t be here for 3 weeks though and right now Ken is trying to decide if he is going to install it or if he will hire it done. I swear we are just unlucky people when we try to do things ourselves. Like something always goes wrong and we end up arguing, LOL! Like yesterday we had to replace the air vent hose thingy to my dryer. It couldn’t just be straight forward right, it took us like 2 hours to get it right. And I tell you what, anyone who wants to invent something and get rich should invent a different type of dryer hose connector thing. Like one that has a simple clamp that is already built into the darn hose, rather than these retarded clamps that don’t work very well. Just sayin!

So here we go with the next couple questions. These are really kind of silly answers, but apparently I don’t have too much to forgive myself or others for.

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Other than having to forgive myself all the time for not being the perfect wife or mother or really just person for that matter…. I have one tiny thing that bothered me for a long time. When Ken and I got engaged I was working for a Family Physician as an office manager. He had a very difficult and different personality than most doctors. Very chatty, very paranoid about getting sued, and very mean at times. He was never really mean to me directly, just to his nurses…who would then complain to me all the time. What could I do really? Plus I was in my 20’s, not really mature enough to handle some of the stuff I was dealing with. It was just a couple weeks after Ken and I got married and I was late to work one day because I had attended Andrew’s Halloween parade at his preschool. I had told the physician several times that I was going to be late that day, but of course that day came and when I wasn’t there when he walked in the door he was ticked. One of his nurses had said to me when I walked in…”He is pissed, better watch out.” It just pushed me to the limit. I remember calling Ken from the break room, in tears, saying that I couldn’t handle him anymore. It was inappropriate for him to disrespect me in front of the nurse and that was just one of many times he made me upset or overly stressed. To top it off I had just found out I was pregnant a couple of days before, but had not told anyone yet. Ken didn’t hesitate to say, “Just leave now, you don’t need to be there anymore.” So I packed up my personal stuff while he was in a room with a patient and left him a note with my office key. I think all the note said was something like I wasn’t coming back or I am done. At the time it felt so good, especially when he had his lawyer call me and beg for me to come back, he offered more money and everything. Note that he didn’t call me himself…that was typical. He could never admit when he was wrong. However, it didn’t take long though for me to start feeling guilty. I had just returned from my honeymoon and things were still in a mess from being gone for 2 weeks and then I just left. Over the past 10 years, since we moved to this town, I run into him and his wife from time to time. They go to our church and their kids attend the same high school. It’s just one of those things where I would go back and handle it differently, more maturely, if I could, but I have forgiven myself too. Ironically, my dad is now a patient of his. I always thought he was a good physician despite the fact that he talks to much and works too slow! They have talked about me and he knows that my dad is my dad. Sorta strange huh!?

Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.
I just want to get this one out of the way, short and sweet. Forgiving Andrew’s dad for leaving Andrew and I when he was just a year old has taken many years to forgive. I was blindsided and it was a tough thing to do through at the time, but of course I have long forgiven Andrew’s dad for the choices he made back then. If anything, I should thank him!