: : : Mommy's Pregnancy Journal : : :

July 25, 2004

As I think about the birth of my baby, my mind travels most to some of the bad stuff. (I never claimed to be an optimist.) Don't get me wrong, I daydream about what she will look like and all that. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty... my thoughts lean more towards the PAIN!!!!

I can still remember, almost like yesterday, the day Chase was born. See I got fooled a bit into thinking that having a scheduled c-section wasn't all that bad. I went in with high hopes of having the day be a repeat of the day Blake was born. I was so wrong.

When Andrew was born I had a c-section after 16-17 hours of pretty intense labor, induced labor at that. I never dilated past 4cm and his very large head would not fit. Period. So finally the doctor said I was going to have to have a c-section. At that point I wouldn't have cared what I needed to be done, I wanted the pain to stop. I had already been stabbed at by the anesthesiologist 3 different times. The epidural story is way to long to get into...but needless to say, not one of them worked. When it came time for the 4th stab into my spine I was all for the numbness to take over. It worked like a charm and Andrew was born without any complications (weighing in at 9 pounds even). I was quite out of it for awhile afterwards and remember after finally getting to hold Andrew for about 20 minutes I begged for some sleep. My recovery period was tough because my body was so drained from the labor and my retarded doctor insisted that I needed nothing more than Tylenol #3 for pain. She thought I was doing fine. I guess crying every time I had to get up out of bed meant nothing to her. I dreaded every having to go through this again....but I knew I would at some point.

4 and a half years later....Blake was the easy one. I had a different doctor who was great in helping me decide if I wanted to try vbac or have a repeat c-section. Like most I wanted to have a baby naturally, but yet I feared I would have to go through labor and end up having a c-section anyways. After finding out that Blake was most likely not going to be a small baby, I choose the repeat c-section. Beings it was planned I felt a little less anxious about it all and told her my only concern was the pain afterwards. She assured me that I would get something stronger than Tylenol this time. This included some magical drug that they give you during surgery that pretty much takes care of any pain for the first 24 hours, I can't remember the name for the life of me!! The anesthesiologist did have a bit of trouble getting my spinal in, but I really don't remember it being all that bad. After a few tries the head anesthesiologist took over and got it on the first try. Later I found out the first guy was a resident, ugh! Blake was born without any complications...a little bit of breathing problems the first couple of minutes, but nothing to cause alarm...and he weighed 8 pounds even. After about 10 hours I was up and moving about, felt pretty darn good. The next morning I started taking Percocet for pain and was able to shower, take care of Blake, etc, without any help. The nurses all commented on how well I was doing. I remember coming home and running the vacuum that weekend...about 5 days after Blake was born. At that time I had no problem thinking about having any other children. Piece of cake.

2 and a half years later....enter Chase. I had very positive feelings about having a c-section. There was no question that I was going to have a repeat this time. I made several requests this time...one making sure I had an experienced anesthesiologist, instead of a resident. It didn't matter. She still had to poke me 4 times. This is where all of my current thoughts travel towards. I can still remember leaning forward on the surgery table, holding my nurses hand, trying to concentrate on taking deep breaths when I was told. Each time I was poked I hoped it would be the last. In my mind all I kept saying is please let it be over and that I was never ever doing this again. The pressure and pain was so strong. I didn't remember it being this bad before.  Chase was born...one ounce shy of 7 pounds, healthy as can be. Again, I can still recall like yesterday, that the post-op pain was pretty bad. I felt okay for the first 20 hours or so. After that it was pretty intense and the Percocet only took the edge off for about an hour...then the next couple of hours were tough. I started telling myself and anyone who asked how I felt...that I was not going to have anymore babies after this. This is it. My recovery time at home was more of the same. Very sore for a good couple of weeks and it was hard to take care of the boys. Obviously I managed and lived through it, but it was no picnic.

So here we are...ready to go through this lovely procedure once again. I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have 3 sons and about to have a baby girl!! I know everything is going to be okay, but at the same time I am scared out of my mind. Knowing what to expect makes it even worse if you ask me.

July 19, 2004

36 Weeks / 9 months preggo

June 25, 2004

We scheduled the date of Karli's Birthday Party!!! She is due to arrive via scheduled c-section on August 5th around 11:30pm.  It is so nice to know the exact time and date to make arrangements for the boys.  Karli is growing so fast...each appointment I have been measuring a little big. The doctor says there is no cause for alarm beings I am having a c-section anyways. I think Karli is just teasing everyone, I don't think she will weigh anymore than 7 pounds something. Only 6 more weeks and we will have our daughter. A dream come true.

Look at Karli's growing closet. This does not even include all of her sleepers, onesies, etc... that are in her dresser.

The bottom rack and middle shelf is all 0-3 months size and the top rack is larger sizes.  This is a mixture of stuff that I have bought, some things I am borrowing from my niece Emma, and gifts from both grandmas! She is going to be one spoiled baby girl! It is so hard to not buy things for her. 

I haven't picked out a nursery bedding set for her yet because Chase is still sleeping in the crib. I am leaning towards this set from Pottery Barn. Still looking though!

May 10, 2004

I got a 3D/4D ultrasound today! It was so neat :) The pictures were amazing. It felt really nice to be reassured that she is in fact a girl.  We got some very clear shots of her female anatomy :)

Karli was very active, but yet she would not move out of her little spot. She laid all curled up. Most of the time her arms and legs were wrapped about one another.  She weighs about 2 pounds right now, which puts her at average weight, but more on the smaller side if anything.  I have a feeling she is going to be around 7 pounds, just like Chase.

Ken has said it still hasn't sunk in that we are having another baby, let alone a baby girl.  It all seems like a dream to me.  It is amazing that we only have 3 months to go! I will probably be scheduling my c-section at my next appointment which is June 7th.  Most likely it will be August 10th.

Side profile photo

Another side profile

Side Profile with her arm wrapped up under her leg,

what a chubby little leg!!

Her foot in the bottom left corner

April 23, 2004

 24 Weeks / 6 months pregnant

March 15, 2004

We decided to find out the sex of the baby! I talked Ken into finding out...and in the end I think he really wanted to find out too! I still can not believe that my dream has finally come true.  I am going to have a daughter.  During the ultrasound Karli was lying head up and faced outwards, basically resting her head on the placenta like a little pillow.  She wasn't moving around a whole lot except for her hands and arms so we were able to get some real good pictures.  Sort of a tender moment knowing that this is the last ultrasound I will probably have. Not just this pregnancy, but the rest of my life.  I didn't want the ultrasound to end.  I wanted to stare at my baby girl forever.  She measured right where she should too. About 8 inches long and 8 ounces ( a half a pound).  What a little bean!

January 13,  2004

I had my first doctor appointment yesterday.  It went great, Ken and I got many congrats and "Weren't you just here?"  I was there for my 6 week post partum checkup exactly a year ago.  We got to skip the nurse appointment where they drill you with questions and tell you a bunch of common sense information.  The ultrasound went well and as though the tech could read my mind she said "Only one baby".  Ken said "That's good" and I know it really is good, but I have always wanted twins.  Ken was a triplet, but the other two babies, both girls, did not make it. But I guess that wouldn't affect us having twins anyways. The tech did refer to the baby as a boy to be silly. And then she said that really she hoped it was a girl for us. When Ken told her that we wouldn't be finding out she laughed and said if she sees that it is a girl (at my 20 week ultrasound) she will have to tell us!! Now I am all paranoid that if she doesn't act all silly or smile real big or something that is must be a boy.  I will have to remind her not to give it away.... unless Ken changes his mind. Now I want to know! But at the same time I do want to be surprised.  That is why I am letting Ken decide because I don't know what I want.

The baby was squirming about and the heart rate was nice and strong at 173.  The ultrasound puts me a couple days behind my calculated due date, but the Dr. said they will go with my due date from my period.  Baby #4 will be born sometime during the week of August 8th since they now do all scheduled c-sections after you are 39 weeks.

The baby seems so much more real now. Even though I have had morning sickness, extremely tired...I never quite believe that I am pregnant until I see the little blob on the screen. Sure you can't see much, but you can see the most important part. The heart beating.  The sudden realization that another life is forming inside of me is simply amazing.  I know I must have been smiling the entire ride home. The best part was having my cell phone ring and hearing my love's voice. After already spending an hour and a half at the doctor's office with me, he still felt the desire to call and talk about the baby. Everything just feels so good, so perfect.  In less than 7 months there is going to be another baby in our family.

Baby's First Photo

December 7,  2003

I AM PREGNANT!   

How it happened.... the details of the day we found out.....

Friday Dec 5th -  My alarm went off at 7:30 am and after I came downstairs the thought hit me! I got up to go the bathroom at 7am and went potty! I had forgotten that I wanted to do a pregnancy test because I was having Ken's 30th Surprise Birthday party that evening and I wanted to party (have a few drinks).  Of course I am one of those paranoid people who think that too much alcohol could cause harm to a month old fetus, so why take the chance? I waited a bit and did the test around 9am.  After 3 minutes the test window was blank. (Meaning negative) Just a white empty circle. I was fine. It was okay. Chase had just turned one and this would have been our first "official month" of trying even though I had been hoping for no period to arrive the past couple of months.  I prepared Blake some breakfast and went over my shopping list.  I went back about 3 minutes later just for the heck of it and there was a faint line. I thought that maybe it was there, but maybe it wasn't. Gosh, am I imagining it?  I start pacing around, trying to continue with my day and not being able to think straight. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I thought that I wish I had not thrown away the directions to the test, but come on, this is my fourth time doing this, I didn't need directions. But I remembered reading something about not reading the test after so many minutes?? Finally I managed to get myself out the door, not without checking the test several more times and noticing that the line was getting darker by the minute.  I had several stores to go to, but at the grocery store I bought one of the tests that say you can take it earlier than some of the others, hoping that this would give me a darker line Ü

Several hours later I come home and get the boys in the house, leaving everything else in the van.  I set the boys up for lunch and go into the bathroom to try test #2.  I take a deep breath and tell myself that it will be okay if it is negative. I did the test, came out and set the timer on the microwave for 3 minutes. I did not want to sit and stare at the test and I wanted to see what it looked like at the exact time frame it said in the directions. I did happen to skim the directions this time!

The timer goes off. I walk into the bathroom and pick up the test and sure enough there is a second line...meaning it is positive. I start saying No Way! Oh My! No Way! I can't believe it!!  Chase starts crying and he wants out of his high chair. Blake wants to watch Toy Story. Okay back to reality, I have tons to do to prepare for this party.  I went on with my day, thinking about it constantly. Touching my belly a few times, thinking, I can't believe I am pregnant again!! And so soon! I feel so grateful and happy and excited and scared.  My mom stops by to see if I need help with the kids while I prepare the snacks and cake.  The cake is a disaster. I have never told my mom that I am pregnant before Ken so I didn't say anything.

Finally Ken came home from work and we had to get ready for bowling.  I was not quite ready myself, but I sat on the bed talking to him while he got changed to leave.  After about 10 minutes he was laying down on his belly across our bed.  I said "Remember how we joke and say we need to have a baby in July or August to fill in the gap?" ( My birthday is in September, Andrew is October, Chase is November, Ken December, and Blake is June...all by himself)  He replied" Yea, why"   I said "Well we have August covered" as I show him the test.  He grabs it and sits up faster than I have ever seen him move.  "You are??" As he is hugging me he was saying some other stuff about how shocked he is, but I really can't remember what because I couldn't take my eyes off of how happy he looked.  He said a few words and then hugged me again and he kept looking at the test over and over. We talked about how we can't believe it happened so quickly!  I have always felt that Ken's thoughts and feelings on having another baby were twice as important as my own. Seeing how thrilled he was made the who idea of being pregnant more real to me.  Ken reminded me that we wouldn't be finding out the sex of the baby and I agreed.  I wonder if he will change his mind, but right now I am fine going along with whatever he feels.  I want to know, but at the same time it would be more fun and exciting to wait. 

Ken has never been one to be able to keep his mouth closed for very long. He told our bowling partners within 3 minutes.  I had asked him if we should wait until after my sister has her baby to tell family, but I will be 11 weeks at her due date. I am pretty sure my parents and sister would notice my bulging tummy by then. With Blake and Chase, I popped out pretty quickly.  And I would rather tell them I am pregnant than them think I was getting fat!  At the time Ken did not know about his party so we agreed we would tell my parents and then everyone else on Sunday, when he assumed they would come over for his birthday.  We were not even at home, amongst the excitement of the party, for 10 minutes when Ken pulled me aside away from everyone.  He gave me a hug and thanked him for the party and asked if it was okay to tell everyone our news. I told him that I didn't think we should and he disagreed. He begged "C'mon I want to tell everyone" I just shrugged my shoulders as Ken walked back into the kitchen and said that he had an announcement to make "Candi and I are going to have another baby"   Everyone congratulated us and there were comments about how this one better be a girl! I am with ya there people!! Ken has already had the talk with me about how I better be okay if it is a boy. I will, I will. But I will also need to remind myself of that every day for awhile.

Blake has told us that he doesn't want another baby brother or sister. He said he just wants to keep Chase.  He keeps thinking that we have to take Chase back to get another baby. I plan to drop it for now and once he sees my growing belly I will explain it to him more and let him get use to it. I know he will be fine, but at the same time he probably knows how busy a baby makes mommy and daddy.  We will probably tell Andrew tomorrow when we he comes home from his fathers. 

Sunday :  Since yesterday we have let it all sink in a little more. Ken is still smiling and he keeps mentioning "Imagine another one" whenever the boys are acting wild and crazy.  It just feels right to add another baby to the family and yes I will be asking to hold the nuts please!